Thursday, August 9, 2007

Fans miss bee hive




The new English Premier league starts on Saturday 11. Harry Potter, Foot and Mouth, Iraq, Terrorism will all fall before the this league of ultra-ordinary gentlemen. Various teams promoting football's version of eugenics will steadily draw out more raw talent from around the world to create this season's Uberteam.
Millions will be dispersed throughout Europe at speeds that no non-superhero tax collector can ever compete with. These amounts will be dutifully converted into Pounds or Euros. Heads of state, ex-heads of state, newspaper owners, Ice-hockey team owners, owners of small countries have now 'seen the light'. All sail to fair Albion [ or any team except Albion] to pour their gotten gains into the beautiful game.
Millions will wear their Team Strip, waddling from Giant screen to Giant screen, hawking the latest logo and the team crest around where'er they wander, stumble and fall. Like Knights of old en masse the motleys will chant , a chant that will begin in good-humour and end with Your'e gonna get your fuckin' bed slept in!
The Champions League will field Giga-teams, with a value equivalent to a lot of not-so-well-off countries, and we will become intimate with inept over-the-moon vocabulary , petulant managers, some wonderful football, and doubtless the new tattoos and hairstyles so integral to football today.
While the game ensues international corporate diplomacy will take place in the Executive boxes as various Mafians peer down upon their 'crew'. Losers will be dropped, then operated on , then played until their legs fall off. It is important to get some sort of return on the new Foot & lot of Mouth boys.
Over time each team will have a missing child who's news photo will display their fave team strip. This team will have a moral obligation to play their hardest for the victim[s] from their fan-base. Fans will be given part of a picture of the little person's face which they can hold up , all together, before the game. Hooligans ain't sooo bad. Opposing fans will be blamed for not supporting their victim icon and can then be 'nailed' for the crime by proxy.
Everton used to be nicknamed 'The Millionaires'.

10 comments:

David said...

Great writing and you haven't even touched pn the Arsenal conspiracies and the Masonic architecture of old Highbury and its links to the bin Laden, poor old Alex and the Queen.

aferrismoon said...

I think once the can of shrimps that is the British version of the Federal Reserve - The Premier League - is opened and connected together a vast leviathon shall emerge from some proto-Cthulian morass as each of the new financial empire consuls enjoy playing with and with the masses and the people respectively.
My knowledge is sketchy, cynical imaginings of the rich and fay, the media dimming of men's minds with 'just too much' about the pig's bladder, etc.
I shall look into the Arsenal connexion, arse n' all as Cromwell might have said.
The planning and launching of the Premier League is a bit of business in itself, Mr Rick Parry and fellows certainly had foresight. If u can attract American money for Association Football you're onto a winner.
Any comments, help and the odd long-ball will be appreciated.
Also of interest is the 'English and Welsh' clubs like AC and Inter Milan, Real Madrid, Bilbao etc.

David said...

Well coming from Southend ... home of the Shrimpers ...

I've put a glancing bit in the new book about Arsenal but its scratching the surface of a huge fetid pool. Football has long been a tool of symbolic manipulation.

'Outside of Hollywood, no other part of the global entertainment industry generates such a continuous stream of conspiracy theories as sport. One reason for this is that almost every major professional sporting activity is now part of a multi-billion dollar industry with vast fortunes being earned from ticket sales, endorsements and TV rights. Whatever the total global business revenue directly related to sport, the revenues generated by both legal and illegal sport betting dwarf it.


Possibly the biggest reasons conspiracy theories abound in sport is due to the vast emotional commitment some fans place in their favourite sporting teams. Just as some conspiracy theories spring up when fans cannot face up the fact their favourite musician died in a random accident, many sports supporters cannot accept that their side lost due through bad luck or the superior skill of their opponents.


Looking at Arsenal – the English football team I support – provides a good example of how the conspiracy process in sports works. Due to the fact it can claim Queen Elizabeth II, John Lydon (AKA as former Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten), Keanu Reeves and Osama Bin Laden among its supporters, all sorts of conspiratorial nonsense has been written about the club. This is heightened by the fact its former ground, Highbury Stadium, was known to include Masonic symbolism within its construction.


News stories about sponsorship of the club by Emirates Airline and its possible takeover by an American billionaire have been pored over by some conspiracy theorists. Such regular elements of sporting business have even been cited as ‘proof’ of the hidden hand of al-Qaeda or the Grand United Lodge of England behind the club. When the Queen had to withdraw from a planned visit of Arsenal’s new Emirates Stadium and the ground was tested for radiation as part of the investigation into the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko, the febrile imaginations of certain conspiriologists went into meltdown.'

BTW, my man at the palace told me that the Queen pulled out due to her long-standing, covered up heart condition.

On the subject of bees you might enjoy this story http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/ben_macintyre/article2231321.ece

aferrismoon said...

As one who on occasion would prefer to see Liverpool win than perhaps a nother side I felt drawn into the Heysel Sta. matter. LFC were of course conspired against by the likes of Chelsea's C18 outfit[ who could be trusted to hate scousers above many other social groups] and various Italian ultras starting violence preplanned. Large Italian business congloms were hauled into my version of events to create the Scudeto as the dominant league. Then in a twist worthy of any great but critically ignored movie entered Rick Parry, Livre-pool fan , now transferred from Ernst and Young to breathe life into the Premier League which has now eclipsed not only mere European leagues but also NFL, Baseball and the Olympics altogether. Oooops delirium!
Arsenal - Dar-al-sina - arabic for House of Industry
Thanks for the full comment, I can only reply with vaguely researched responses, though I sometimes include pictures.

David.Southwell said...

You deal in deep resonance and explore occulted landscapes prospecting for truth (with occasional added pictures).

Vapo said...

I always enjoy your thoughts and Blog.

Have you seen this? It might even be yours..I do not know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTunsEGm6HU

Some time back there was a TV Investment,Banking?) It was a Commercial that showed people as Bees buzzing to the source ..a Beehive(the corporation that made the commercial). Just a thought. Have a great day!

aferrismoon said...

cheers VAPO
Certainly not my production but pleased to have seen it. Simple and in4mative. I shall pass it on
ThanX Again

Vapo said...

Hello again ~ I thought maybe you would find this interesting as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVplnJkHbuQ&mode=related&search=

http://www.beemovie.com/

Bee Happy and have a great day!

aferrismoon said...

Cheers , I'll slap a compound eye on it

Vapo said...

I found this and thought it was interesting:

http://www.redicecreations.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1051

Have a great day!

Zapo